#1 Fan Ceremony

Julie & Cris asked this Palm Springs wedding officiant for a “non-wedding” ceremony…so we decided to have a “#1 fan” ceremony instead.

© WeddingOfficiantPalmSprings.com

[Pre-ceremony announcement] Ladies + gentlemen, the bride + groom have requested that their wedding ceremony be un-plugged, so please silence your cell phones & do not take photos or videos during the ceremony.

Please rise. [Processional starts]

You may be seated. Good evening, friends + family. We’ve got this little detail of getting Cris & Julie hitched before we can start the party. So, let’s jump in with a quote from the gospel of Christopher Hitchens. He says: “I learned that very often the most intolerant & narrow-minded people are the ones who congratulate themselves on their tolerance & open-mindedness.”

When it comes to marriage, Cris & Julie, you must be willing to admit that you won’t always be right & that you have faults—as much of a bummer as that is. And, let me say, nothing brings our “idiosyncracies” to the surface like the constant reflection of ourselves that comes through our spouses. So, while it can be tempting to congratulate yourselves on already surviving 9 years together, use today’s rite of passage to give you a fresh & juvenile perspective on relating to one another.

Now, everyone’s going to tell you they’ve got the secret to a happy marriage for you…but I have one thing they don’t—the microphone. Here’s my secret…When you are listening to each other, do just that. Turn off the snappy comeback machine that lives up here (point to
head). Put yourself in the other’s shoes & come to understand their point of view.

Next, I’d like NOT to read from First Corinthians. (Take pen out of my pocket & make checkmark in book). Done! And, one more agenda item (look up at couple). Ummm, raindrops will continue to fall on you when you are married. I’m not sure what kind of post-marital
panchos the Apache had…

© WeddingOfficiantPalmSprings.com

Anyway…Cris told me that from day one Julie was his college band Overproof’s #1 fan. Knowing how you to feel about the state’s need to legitimize your love for one another, I would like to perform, not a marriage ceremony, but a “#1 Fan” ceremony. Cris & Julie have
prepared their own vows, but now to determine who takes the plunge first, we will conduct the ancient ritual of “Rock, Paper, Scissors.”

[Read letters]

Now Cris & Julie, please form a traditional wedding pinky swear. Cris, do you promise to tolerate Julie constantly borrowing your favorite clothes & being stubborn, to get her obscure movie references, to laugh at her jokes, and to be her #1 fan, loving & cherishing her
as long as you both shall live? [I do]

Julie, do you promise to tolerate Cris being absent-minded & leaving his dishes in the sink, to get his obscure movie references, to laugh at his jokes, and to be his #1 fan, loving & cherishing him as long as you both shall live? [I do]

May I have the rings please? (Put them in my pocket). That was easy…hey, who knows where the nearest pawn shop is? (Take rings out). Only kidding.

© WeddingOfficiantPalmSprings.com

Have you all seen the classic episode of “Family Guy” where Peter blows the money Lois gave him to book Cheesy Charlie’s for Stewie’s birthday? Being the rocket scientist that Peter is, he comes home to explain why they won’t be celebrating at Cheesy Charlie’s & suddenly
he’s wearing a t-shirt that says in big, bold letters, “I LOVE LOIS.” Let these rings be your “I love Cris” and “I love Julie” t-shirts to the world, announcing what this home team is all about.

Cris, repeat after me. Think of me & wear this ring with pride / as a sign of the vows we have sat through….I mean “spoken” here today. [Cris, put ring on Julie’s finger]

Julie, repeat after me. Think of me & wear this ring with pride / as a sign of the vows we have spoken here today. [Julie, put ring on Cris’ finger]

I forgot to mention that in a “#1 fan” ceremony, you are also presented with official marital fanfare. (Give them foam fingers). It is my pleasure & honor to announce that are now officially each other’s #1 fans!!! You may kiss the bride.

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[Bride & groom jog down the aisle with your arms over your head in victory, the way Rocky does when he climbs the top of the stairs on his run in Philly…as “Eye of the Tiger” plays.]